oh god the rape fog is back!
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
