I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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