READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
