I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
