Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I wish i was in the wii world.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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