Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
3pm strippers are depressing
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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