there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
