I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
