I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize