went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
