did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just invented taco cereal.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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