just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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