I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
