We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
