got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
