i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
