Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize