Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
