Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Can i not drive my cunt home
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
