doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize