all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
