You smell like a Billy Joel song
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Is it penis luge time yet?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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