when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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