Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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