So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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