another moral hangover. fuck.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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