he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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