Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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