ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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