Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
How does it feel to date your dad?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
