I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
