doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize