You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
