i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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