My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
