i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
