im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
