life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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