Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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