Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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