She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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