Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize