I need help removing her.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
