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Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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