Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize