i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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