i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
