I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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