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• (124): View more from

  Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.

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