If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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