Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
