I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
