there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
