He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Randomize
