**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i think i have two assholes
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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