I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
