Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
