Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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