He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
