I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Text me some of your sweat
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
