vagina is talking i cant
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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