Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
