is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
