Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Randomize
