The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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