I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Of course I have a pirate flag
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
