There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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