She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
