i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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