So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He felt like a one man threesome
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
