You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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