So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
