I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
