Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
