Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
