Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize