Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
