I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
