Only a mothe r could love this liver
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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