So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize