I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
