what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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