bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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